Cervical/Abdominal Pressure

Good Day!

Yesterday I made avocado bean salad with baked jerk chicken. Turned out really good. I remember the last time I made jerk chicken with the jerk seasoning and it didn't turn out too well but ofcourse, this time I made a slight change by adding paprika. The result was an absolutely delicious dinner last night. The picture of my small accomplishment below. Today I made some French crepes for tea time however forgot to take a picture.

 

Sorry for the detour, now getting back to the title of this post - cervical/abdominal pressure. I have been experiencing abdominal/cervical pressure since June/July of this year right after I finished the traditional chinese medicine I brought back from Taipei from the earlier trip. I feel the pressure especially when I am standing. It gets better after I sleep however as soon as I stand up for few minutes, I start feeling the pressure again almost to the point where there is a dull pain. It's very bothersome and annoying. My research on the internet suggests incompetent cervix which scared me but usually one finds out when one is pregnant and this is not applicable for non-pregnant women. Anyway, I consulted my mom who made me chinese ginger chicken soup in rice wine. I took the soup and it seemed to go away only to return after a few days. I had some doubts about whether I will be able to maintain the pregnancy if I should get pregnant by IVF. Anyway, I still felt the pressure while I was undergoing IVF but I tried to rest as much as I can and it didn't bother me much as I didn't have to do much housework in Taipei.

After returning from Taipei, I started feeling the abdominal/cervical pressure again, to the extent that I was scared to breathe on a full stomach because it felt heavy like something was going to pop out. I wasn't sure if it was my uterus or my cervix! I was frustrated. My mom happened to ask me on the phone if I was still experiencing the pressure and I confirmed it with her. After a few days, my loving mother bought me over the counter chinese herbal supplement called "Baifeng Wan" (see picture below), translated into English as "White Phoenix Pill". She told me that when she got married her menses was irregular and she took this supplement too and got pregnant later. She said that maybe I was weak and hence the pressure and usually women who are weak in "Qi" (energy) take this. It is time tested formula and this knowledge has been handed down through the ages. I do remember seeing one of these empty pill containers at home when I was small.


Photo taken from http://www.tongrentang.com.au/list.asp?id=69&anid=141&nid=515

 

I was desperately looking for a cure for the cervical pressure hence I took the pills for 6 days, two times each day (morning & night), with warm water and yellow rice wine as per instructions. As this is a time tested supplement, I wasn't skeptical about taking it, besides my mother and older sister had also taken it before. Also internet research suggested no side effects.

 Amazingly, the cervical/abdominal pressure disappeared after the 1st day of taking it. Honestly, it's like magic! I get mid-cycle spotting and spotting before my period as well. As the pills also helps resolve irregular menses, let's hope it resolves the spotting issue as well! I took the supplement only for 6 days because pregnant women should not take it hence I stopped it at 6DPO. I am just so relieved as the cervical/abdominal pressure is now gone. I will only find out next cycle if the spotting issue is resolved as well i.e. if I do not get pregnant naturally :)  I will update as soon as I can. In the meantime, be happy and stay blessed!!

P.S. - A box of 10 capsule of pills costs about CA$10.00. These pills are available from any chinese herbal supplements store in Chinatown. Different stores carry different brands. I believe there are 2 or 3 other brands available. The store my mom went to only carried this brand -Tong Ren Tang.

Post-IVF - Thoughts and emotions

At the start of this IVF journey, I kept thinking about how low and depressed I will feel if the cycle did not work. All the time, money and energy spent. All the daily injections, ultrasounds and hospital visits. The expectations and the hurdles every step of the way. Surprisingly, I did not expect myself to come out of this a happier person! I am so glad I went through this IVF treatment because I was so depressed everyday and every month before the treatment. I am now happy and calm, not angry and living everyday with joy and laughter. I don't cry anymore before I sleep and whenever I think of my niece and nephews. I don't cry anymore when I see my friends' facebook updates on their pregnancy or their newborns. I take it in my stride now to hear good news of friends' or friends of friends' pregnancies. Even watching dramas on tv make me laugh and not cry. Thanks to the decision to undergo IVF, my depression is gone! I haven't felt like this in years and it feels so rejuvenating! I didn't realize I have been depressed for so long! Now the gloom has lifted and it feels like a brand new me! I am so glad I made the trip to Taipei!

I realized that what we need and what we desire can be two different things. Getting pregnant had become an obsession. We 21st century women are so used to being in control and getting what we want. So far in life, as long as we work hard for it, nothing has been unachieveable. However getting pregnant doesn't work that way. Even if we work hard for it, we may not achieve pregnancy hence getting pregnant becomes an obsession. True we all want to start a family however it is not absolute - meaning we can still be happy even if we don't have kids. Life doesn't have to stop and standstill for us if we have trouble getting pregnant. To let our whole mind revolve around this "want" is torturing ourselves! We don't need this depression! We can be happy with or without kids. The key is enjoying the journey and if we tried our best, there should be no regrets!

For me, this is the best time of my life so far. I don't need to work and can sleep in all I want, do the things that make me/us happy. My husband has been supportive all the way. Although he yearns for a baby but he is very rational and knows that this is not something that can be forced to happen and it is all up God Almighty. "At least we tried" is what he keeps reminding me and "No regrets because we tried already". My in-laws are also very supportive so no pressure there as well.

Life is too short to live in depression. Enjoy every moment of it (with or without kids)! We came into this world empty handed. We will leave empty handed. There is nothing in life that we can't absolutely live without. The breath of life is free. Other than that, food and water is in abundance in this present day world. Any one reading this right now would have access to the internet which means they are living the good life. There are so many people out there where reproduction is least of their worries and keeping the stomach full is top most priority. Feel content and be happy!The only person who is most capable of loving/destroying ourselves is our own selves! Love thyself as God loves you! If you are going through IVF, just enjoy the process - doesn't matter the outcome - love yourself and be good to yourself!

I love you and wish you all the best!